Every day, we all hear things that make us think, “WTF?”
I decided to start listing some of the crazy, interesting, puzzling, frustrating, and funny things I hear inside and outside of my house.
“This morning I fell asleep with a cough drop in my mouth. Sorry, mom. There is no punch line,” said Brigit. I think that is the funniest thing that I have heard all month.
“I just want to get up and read my coffee and do my Sudoku,” I told Alana when she asked me why I don’t take Kelly on a walk as soon as I wake up in the morning. I think my quote speaks for itself!
“Your wait time is more than 9 hours,” stated the computerized voice from Delta Airlines. I was trying to change some reservations, which I thought would be easier to do by talking to a real person. Nope. Delta won. Maybe I will try that with my kids next time they yell, “Mom, come here!”
“Mom, I don’t adventure well,” said Alana when I encouraged her to leave the house and go on adventures with us. Since sports are on 24 hours a day, guess that is enough adventure for her!
“J’ai mal au dos, aux hanches, et aux jambons,” I said to my french teacher trying to explain I had a sore back, hips, and legs after my second COVID shot. She broke into hysterical laughter, and said, “You told me that you ‘have a bad back, hips, and hams! Not jambons, but jambes!” Guess close does not count.
“Mom would want to see this,” said Brigit as she took a picture of roadkill on the asphalt. Patrick and Brigit were finishing a hike. What part of a dead animal on the road did Brigit think I would be interested in seeing? Was it the mangled fur? The flatness? The humor? I was too shocked to ask.
“I can’t put my name on it,” said Alana when she tasted something familiar but messed up the saying “I can’t put my finger on it.” I like her version better. Reminds me of the white men “discovering America.” No, dudes! This place was already discovered but go ahead and put YOUR name on it.
“I wish they made trail mix with only M&M’s in it,” said Alana as she picked all the nuts and raisins out of her trail mix. I did inform her that her wish could be granted. She just needed to buy a bag of M&M’s!
“Well, she put her foot under mine,” said my husband when the dog yelped in pain because he stepped on her foot. I think he has Olympic-caliber blame deflection. He missed his calling. He should be in politics.