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If You Give a Writer a Pen…

If you give a writer a pen,

She will need to write.

If she has written and likes her work,

She will keep writing.

If she keeps writing,

She will run out of ink in her pen.

If she runs out of ink,

She will turn on her computer.

If she turns on her computer,

She will start watching Breaking Bad, because everyone told her to watch Breaking Bad, but she didn’t want to watch Breaking Bad but once she watched the first three episodes, she was hooked, and she will spend all her time watching Breaking Bad.

Photo by Hennie Stander on Unsplash

If she watches Breaking Bad,

She will not write because oh, my God, what just happened?

If she thinks about what just happened,

She will realize there are some interesting literary devices and flawed characters in Breaking Bad.

If she thinks about literary devices and flawed characters in Breaking Bad,

She will realize that she hasn’t written anything in months.

If she realizes that she hasn’t written anything in months,

She will feel like she has Writer’s Block.

If she feels like she has Writer’s Block,

She will laugh because the only blocking going on is her sitting on her ass in front of a screen and watching Breaking Bad every free minute because she must find out what happens.

If she doesn’t have Writer’s Block,

She will realize that she can write but her attention has been diverted lately.

If she realizes that her attention has been diverted lately,

She will think about writing and miss it.

If she misses writing,

She will look for a pen to write an idea that came to her while she was washing dishes.

If she goes to look for a pen,

She will realize that her favorite pen is out of ink.

If she realizes that her favorite pen is out of ink,

She will turn on Breaking Bad, because for God’s sake she is on the last season.