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Merman Upset About Lack of Representation in Public Monuments

“In public monuments, women are more often depicted as mythological and fictional figures than as historical ones. There are 22 public monuments that include mermaids but only two of congresswomen.” (Gillian Brockell, October 6, 2021, Washington Post)

I speak for mermen everywhere when I say no longer will we be pushed aside by the tides of society. No longer will mermen swim in the shadows of mermaids and remain quiet in the face of injustice.

We demand that our shocking lack of representation in public monuments be remedied. Mermen of the world are swimming up and commanding the immortalization of their bodies in public monuments just as mermaids are worshipped.

When Monument Lab, a Philadelphia non-profit, analyzed the public monuments in the United States, they found the landscape dominated by white male figures. Those that are not white and male are more likely to be mythological creatures or fictional women than anyone else. And if mythical creatures are portrayed, why aren’t mermen represented? Is society trying to erase mermen from history?

People are more likely to come across a sculpture of a mermaid than a US congresswoman. How were these mermaids chosen as honored symbols of society, reflections of what we value? Are we, as the male gender of the elegant creatures that we are, not more worthy of immortalization in stone than our female counterparts, too? If appearance is the factor, we mermen are screwed. Sure, some of us are handsome, but most of us would not be considered conventially beautiful with our tangled seaweed hair, pointed green teeth, and scaly fish legs.

On the other hand, mermaids are beautiful, hypnotic oceanic beings with glistening, naked breasts. How do you compete with those?

Rumors have circulated in the past that the appearance of mermen may cause great destruction to human civilization if they come too close. If anyone’s appearance could cause devastation, wouldn’t it more likely be those gorgeous mermaids with their lovely bare breasts, smooth skin, and long flowing hair?

If nominations for these statues are based on actions and contributions to society, I am shocked that mermaids are represented. Mermaids have been associated with misfortune and death, often luring sailors off course and onto rocky shores.

Is this really who we should be honoring with a statue? A topless woman tempting innocent men to their death? What message does this teach the youth of today about who we value? Big breasted dangerous fish-women?

Some people say that sirens are the evil temptresses that lure sailors to their deaths. All I can say is, I believe anything said by these beautiful sea creatures. I have seen them in person.

If you doubt the worthiness of our contributions as mermen, do not. We can cure illnesses, lift curses, and brew potions. Those seem like monument-worthy contributions. Yes, I am aware of the rare stories of mermen summoning storms that sank ships, but these stories have been blown out of proportion. I think these guys were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

However, may I point out that nowhere does history state that mermen specifically lured sailors to their death. Yet, mermaids adorn many public monuments while mermen remain invisible to the world. Is it their breasts?

Society seems to overlook the negative traits of the mermaids and focuses solely on their beauty. Oh, sure, even mermen must admit that mermaids are delicious to feast upon with our eyes, but do the actions of mermaids really merit their portrayal in marble? Is it really so hard to save a drowning sailor by catching him in the water and placing him on a beach? I could do that in my sleep.

Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash

If society is saying that we must remember the shipwrecks at sea, how about a statue of the iceberg that sank the Titanic with a few mermen lounging on top, perhaps with beers in their hands? That would be a good start.

Who is worthy of our remembrance and immortalization in marble? Our monument landscape has given us the mistaken impression that the merpeople who garner our attention should be topless with fishtails.

As a society, we must analyze the messages displayed by our public monuments and stop ignoring the mermen. If monuments represent who we feel are worthy of honor and remembrance, perhaps look at the mermen who can cure illness and not the murderous, naked mermaids.

On the outside, mermen may look different from the typical human, but what are we underneath the seaweed hair, pointed green teeth, and fishtail? We are white men, and isn’t that what America likes to see in its public monuments?

Originally posted on MuddyUm

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