I Know My Place in Line and It Is In Front of You
When asked to stand in a line, I roll my eyes. I’m not one of the crowd and do not belong in the back of the line. I’m a man who belongs near the...
Category: Humor
Today, August 15, is National Relaxation Day and Now I Must Go Relax
Are my eyes deceiving me? What did I just read? Hold onto your yoga mats because today, August 15, is National Relaxation Day! My first thought was, Is there a day for everything? And my second...
If You Give a Writer a Pen…
If you give a writer a pen…
I Am Your New Range and Do Not Let Your Kids Near Me
This is why we can’t have nice things. I join this kitchen community with equal measures of excitement and concern. I love the trendy gray quartz countertop and white subway tile backsplash. The sports...
How I Envision Editors Responding to My Stories Versus Reality
Call me Ralphie. Not because I am a secret owner in the Ralph’s grocery store chain. And not because I am transitioning. Changing my sheets is hard enough. My name change reflects my connection...
A Valentine’s Poem About Trump’s Habit of Ripping Documents to Shreds
“He never stopped ripping things up”: Trump’s shredding of paper in the White House was far more widespread and indiscriminate than previously known and — despite multiple admonishments — extended throughout his presidency. — Washington Post, February 5, 2022 Trump...
A Worksheet From Your Child’s Teacher While She is Out Sick During the Winter of Our Discontent
“I’m fine, really, don’t worry about me” TO: 4th grade parents in Miss Olsen’s class FROM: Principal Smith SUBJECT: Miss Olsen is out sick MESSAGE: I will be your child’s 4th-grade teacher as Miss...
Meatloaf Meets St. Peter and Finds Out That Two Out of Three IS Bad
St. Peter is waiting at the pearly gates and Meatloaf rides up in his motorcycle. St. Peter: So, who do we have here tonight? Meatloaf: It’s me. St. Peter: Me? Do you know how many other...
What is Self-Acceptance and How Do I Fix This Because it is Unacceptable?
Is there a problem with that logic? What is the definition of “self-acceptance?” Now, before you stop reading because you think this will be a boring, serious, preachy type of article, it is not. Well,...
ActiveNoodleNotes Follows the Lead of Facebook and Rebrands to Remain Relevant
Following in the footsteps of Facebook.com, ActiveNoodleNotes.com recently completed a rebranding. According to Amy Strommer, CEO/President/Vice President and every other position held in her one-person company, “I have heard that the metaverse is where it is at....